She is a great friend, who i will obviously lose. It already sounds like you know a thing or two about fitness and exercise but seriously: Cut the sugar, start running, no excuses. I would really like help. I have over done harping on it so she doesnt want to hear it and says love her for her or move on. Pretending it is about her, when really its a more subtle and strategic means of achieving his ends. If this is the case, she could welcome your support in addressing the issue and she may be planning on losing the weight.
Your Comments. I want to clarify, my attraction is not about stature or what other people think, it is about my physical attraction.
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It bothered me a little but I was very attracted to her inside and out.
Everyone has problems; the question is, overweight girlfriend do they face them? She doesnt dedicate ovreweight to losing it and doesnt like working out I once got her to join me on the Optavia program and did good for 2 weeks lost 9 lbs and then drank on it once a week and derailed it and went back up.
How to Deal With Your Feelings About Your Girlfriend’s Body
This is a major, fundamental change to her as a person. You're not shallow or a bad person. Movies and romance novels don't help, either, as she strongly believes that love conquers all. How about talking to her about why she is gaining weight?
Sometimes people need some overweighht love to make the right decisions. I, personally, would still work at it for a bit because 7 years is quite a long time and if things don't change then it may be time to move on. However, I really love her. It doesn't work that way.
All of these will be removed and locked. Why does she eat this way? Being physically attracted to your partner is important, but consider where attraction and love originate. Yes, it's absolutely true that she may have a shorter life span or a lower quality of life as she gets older because of her weight, but that's the whole 'in sickness and in health' bit.
One could even say that it is selfish for one to expect the person they are with to be ok with them getting fat.
Model positive changes.
She really has to choose to lose weight because she wants to, not because other people want her to.
Unfortunately son there is only 1 way to change overweight girlfriend that entrenched in fat acceptance behaviour and that is to say that you are leaving her. I care about her a lot, even if I wasn't girlfrisnd her I'd still be concerned for what she's doing to her body. I would add that no matter what, you are always going to care about her and love her. You can never be physically attracted to your girlfriend all the time, no matter how much she weighs or what she looks like. Screw that. Ultimately, my being able to love someone and be attracted to them physically says much more about me than it ever can about the loved one.
My great sadness overweght and it is a sadness -- about my partner's weight comes from knowing that it causes my partner great emotional and physical distress on a daily basis, not from any impact it has on me. I fought my weight my entire adult life and, fortunately, had a husband who was like you. It may be emotional mindless eating or comfort munching or psychological an eating disorder or food obsession. It can be difficult to resist tempting junk food, no matter how good the intention.
56 thoughts on “6 Ways to Deal With Your Girlfriend’s Weight Gain”
Do not subscribe to this ignorance of physical attraction rubbish; pretending that everything is fine and never mentioning the faults. These are all excellent questions to be asking at this stage, and nobody should be giving you a hard time. Took me at least fifteen minutes, but here you go.
I feel like I owe it to him to lose the weight I gained, girlfriene he is very fit and handsome and deserves for me to look my best. Laurie January 7, at pm. Is it fair that she can eat poorly, take little to no care of herself and get laid whenever she wants by someone she finds much more attractive than they find her? Andy July 4, at am.
We live together and love each other. Sandi June 28, at pm. Lindy West: What comes through in this letter is that their relationship isn't "real" until she can fix herself.
What about the reverse case, what if the man starts gaining weight? Find someone you can be honest overweight girlfriend. Then the next day its ordering fast food 1 to 2 times in the day and laying around and most days shes not active. I spent 7 plus years with her and we had great relationship for first 4 yrs but it starting going down any advice would be great Reply. Your response sounds a little smug. I recently had my boyfriend tell me he was not attracted to me any longer.
We are only young and pretty for so long. You can find why she is unhappy. You should receive instructions for resetting your password. Long story short, I am young, I was in the best shape of my life, I had a major knee surgery, I was not able to work out any longer for quite some time.
Ask Roe: I know this question doesn’t make me look great
Good overweight girlfriend you. Refrain from pushing your overweighr into going through with a diet or exercise plan that is not safe or healthy for them. Women are just as turned on visually by images of sex — men are not special creatures who love porn more. I know we both have it in ourselves to overcome this, we just have to figure it out ….
Overweight girlfriend knew he would probably be happier if I was thin, but he never said a negative word. She has recently started going to the gym, and I was trying to support and encourage her to go more consistently. Men may give you the time of day. Find someone you can be honest with. Farts in bed, halitosis, stress, aging, weight gain, ugly traits that emerge when under stress. I dont know what to do or how to say things in right way to wake her up to the issues here, basically how do i motivate her to care about her life style.
Would you want to hang out with them and talk to them, are you interested in their thoughts and ideas, are you drawn to their charisma?
Sounds like you love your lady very much and you care very deeply about her feelings. I haven't told her this.
You can never be physically attracted to your girlfriend all the time, no matter how much she weighs or what she looks like. Forgot Password?
He introduced himself to me based on what he saw he actually told me that. As your boyfriend, your role is to love and support her.
I can't imagine gaining that much weight and not wanting to lose it. Overweight girlfriend recommend you set it firlfriend and go with her. Checking your own expectationsrespecting your partnerfocusing on the benefits of losing weight, and keeping things positive are all necessary for encouraging a partner to make a lifestyle change. Avoid nagging and harsh comments. I lost a lot of weight after I got married. Part of the problem was that with her being away so often, I never got a chance to see how it affected our lifestyle.
Be honest with her about how you feel and describe the impact of her lifestyle choices on you. These overweight girlfriend happen through exposure, representation and celebration — and you can shift that yourself. Deborah and Andy, I can see both of your points. You could also invite her out for hikes and bike rides. If you want to help your girlfriend stop gaining weight, invite her to join you in something physical and fun.
56 thoughts on “6 Ways to Deal With Your Girlfriend’s Weight Gain”
What if you get cancer and ovefweight a limb? She felt hurt overweight girlfriend a little violated, like the one guy who's supposed to love and accept her and find her beautiful just the way she is was attacking a part of her identity. Who can you sit down with and really talk to?
The rest of you haters should just overwsight home. If this doesn't seem to work, you either need to sit down and give her a long, possibly hard talk in which she will probably cry and call you an asshole. Movies and romance novels don't help, either, as she strongly believes that love conquers all. Key: This is a graph of Weight Gain Based dumping. Having to navigate your partners insecurities and anxieties is important, but nothing will come of nothing mentioned. It bothered me a little but I was very attracted to her inside and out. If a girl told me I needed to work out more and she would be more attracted to me if I did, or I should part my hair a certain way or wear a certain suit, I would do it all and be all over that and very appreciative.
Yes No. Be completely honest with her and tell her everything you told us her fatness embarrasses you, she's making overweight girlfriend effort to lose the weight, you aren't as attracted to her, etc. Relationship won't have a snowball's chance in hell if he doesn't. Obsesity is a health problem, first. First reading the title and i was going to come in here and call you a shallow douche. Like any addiction, you can't act like a policeman. Dear in need of practical advice, I do not think you can do anything to stop your girlfriend from gaining weight.
These are good, important questions. A few months pasted. She was shocked, confused and taken aback. I know what it takes and I know she is very very very capable of doing it.
It seems like you would too. No, she has done this to herself and does not want to remedy it. It can be difficult to resist tempting junk food, no matter how good the overweight girlfriend. She IS an obese woman birlfriend has no interest in physical activity. If you join a gym, please make it a habit to go, even if you don't feel like working out. I mention this because you talk about the limits weight gain might place on what you can do together, and the impact on potential children. The whole article on what to do when your girlfriend gains weight consisted of 1 tip, the rest are shaming the guy into questioning himself and accepting the girl for who she is.
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Tell her that you want her to have the happiest and healthiest overweight girlfriend possible, and that overweighf concern for her weight gain is coming from a place of love, not judgment. So, to help you, I will tell you some things. Anthony March 28, at pm. I'm sorry you're faced with such a painful decision. It's not wrong to break up with a partner who is perfect for you in every way except looks because to you, the lack of physical attraction outweighs the other good qualities of the relationship.
If they lose the weight, the guy loss control. Gurlfriend and Overweight girlfriend, I can see both of your points. Some want to use weight to undermine their S. Your email address will not be published. One huge change would be for you to accept your girlfriend exactly as she is. The more difficult a conversation, the more important it is to have.
She tried to explain how some issues are so sensitive, touchy and personal overweight girlfriend women that they should never really be brought up for the sake of the satisfaction in the relationship. If fact, shame can cause your girlfriend to gain more weight and feel worse about herself. I love when readers point out the flaws and weaknesses of my work — thank you, talbot! And our relationship overall feels boring and stuck because of this. I really want this relationship to work. This is the same as if a guy neglecting his responsibility and spends his days slouching on the couch, not going to work.
How to Deal With Your Feelings About Your Girlfriend’s Body
Need encouragement? You know that overeating can bmi ideal weight calculator male menopause an emotional health issue, and you feel terrible for not loving your girlfriend the way you used to. If fact, shame can cause your girlfriend to gain more weight and feel worse about herself. If a girlfriend starts gaining weight after starting a relationship, is it because of the stress or pressure of the relationship? Would you want to hang out with them and talk to them, are you interested in their thoughts and ideas, are you drawn to their charisma?
But what you learn when you grow up is, what you overweight girlfriend like is irrelevant compared to what you are like. Any advice? She looked completely different, in shape and very sexy. My Girlfriend Gained Weight.
I've been dating my girlfriend for over six months now, and she is wonderful. Many young women are brought up these days without having their adolescence kept in check. Please enter your email address so we can send you a link to reset your password. I hope you or your significant other always remain at your most attractive. Andy July 4, at am. However, her weight has always been a minor issue in the back of my mind: She is not fat but she has a few extra pounds and this can be seen more when she's wearing fewer clothes. But avoiding a conversation because it is difficult and depressing is not healthy or sustainable.
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But to do that to bmi ideal weight calculator male menopause body in a new relationship is super rude, and honestly sad and unhealthy. Variant more transmissible than viruses that cause Mers, Sars, Ebola, colds, seasonal flu and smallpox. More in Things To Do. I know it is hard to keep weight off—much harder for many people than others.
I feel like I owe it to him to lose the weight I gained, because he is very fit and handsome and deserves overweight girlfriend me to look my best. Trust me, she knows she has put on weight. So no matter how thin and sexy your girlfriend is now — and no matter how attracted you are to her at the beginning — it will change. Now, we are planning our wedding, and I feel a massive pressure to have her lose weight.
I think it's probably time to let the relationship go. Whether you want to be her quasi-shrink is up to you, but after 7 years I think you owe it to yourself to explore every avenue before leaving her. Method 1 of Furthermore, you'll be a jerk.
Hi, I think if your girlfriend is gaining weight, you should love her no matter what. In all fairness, I did bring overwwight up a little overweight girlfriend and not in the most tactful or direct way, but I didn't know how else to start a hard, uncomfortable conversation I was not looking forward to. The other thing is that I often see her depressed because of her weight gain. I would really like help. Though it is a stretch for me to imagine women being this shallow.
Let her be. Such activities might not be very good for losing weight, but Overweight girlfriend think they're useful for preventing gain. Money and weight are difficult for most of us to manage -- but you will definitely have a higher quality of life together if you can manage these things well. But if you two are overweight and know it and think you'll want to change that someday, better to do so now or soon. If you want to help your girlfriend stop gaining weight, invite her to join you in something physical and fun.
One could even say that it is selfish for one to expect the person they are with to be ok with them getting fat. Take good care of yourself, for you are worth taking good care of! December 21, at pm. If you have a problem or query you would like her to answer, you can submit it anonymously at irishtimes. I hope this helps.
These are good, important overweight girlfriend. All comments must be on topic and focus on the OP, girlfrienr good faith. I tried everything — ignoring it, being honest, being supportive and loving, making healthy food for her and working out with her and just being beside her instead of telling her what to do. This could prevent you from looking like the bad guy.
I really want this relationship to work. What does her mom look like? Overweight girlfriend doesn't work that way. I had a boyfriend who told me he felt that I would love him even if he was pounds, and he was right.
You can find why she is unhappy. Let her be.
Given she responds to your suggestions for not eating like shit and getting some exercise with emotional manipulation, apparently not. Jesus, that's cold.
I still love her and think that I always will. If make your girlfriend feel ashamed or bad about gaining weight, it will backfire.
Best of girllfriend. I think that, Question of Weight, your relationship might be permanently damaged because of this. These are good, important questions. You overweight girlfriend receive instructions for resetting your password. It's an especially complicated issue, given how society has historically treated women related to their appearance. While my girlfriend is a sweet and caring woman who means the world to me, she is overweight. Be honest with her about how you feel and describe the impact of her lifestyle choices on you.
If, on the other overweight girlfriend, you and your girlfriend live apart and have been dating a few months, you have more freedom. Your Comments. How about talking to her about why she is gaining weight? Laurie Reply. But I think a lot of girls operate differently.
I also try to lead by example overweught working out a lot, and we generally eat very healthy, but we do drink in the evenings. It also depends on your own willingness and ability to be a boyfriend who loves her through thick and thin. You can never be physically attracted to your girlfriend all the time, no matter how much she weighs or what she looks like.
I still dont even know what to say to her, but delaying this under the hope that she will change is unfair and only hurts us ovfrweight. Let her go and find someone else who values her more no matter what she looks like! Overweigght love when readers point out the flaws and weaknesses of my work — thank you, talbot! You do all these things and show all this understanding and finesse to help her through it but at the moment it gets you no-where. You best be damn sure as a woman you do not compromise too much of your career potential for some superficial sap whose limited sexual imagination taps out without the young nubile bodies he thinks he entitled to from his regular visits to porn sites. We ask that you report content that you in good faith believe violates the above rules by clicking the Flag link next to the offending comment or by filling out this form. What do you think?
Your screen name should follow the standards set out in our community standards. I put up with his smelly ass at midnight. Or a certain sized bank account. Everyone suggests trying to encourage healthy habits by inviting her to join you at the gym, or do physical activity, or if you make dinner or do a diet together.
However, I really love her. And then you wait for someone to pick you. If you were, there would be no doubts.
Commenting on The Irish Times has changed. Dear in need of practical advice, I do not think you can do anything to stop your girlfriend overweight girlfriend gaining weight. What do you think is causing your girlfriend to eat more than she needs? My boyfriend and I just passed our 9 year mark. So no matter how thin and sexy your girlfriend is now — and no matter how attracted you are to her at the beginning — it will change. In this case, I encourage you to talk to someone professional who can help you approach your girlfriend in a kind, loving way. Notify me of follow-up comments by email.
These things firlfriend happen whether the guy is just an twot, due to religious customs or cultural norms etc. As a man apparently having similar thoughts is shallow and you need to show some understanding. Be honest with yourself. Casey July 23, at pm. Or has a full head of hair. Joan Macdonald started working out after some health problems.
It is bmi ideal weight calculator male menopause fun. Ryan August 21, at am. She immediately gains 25 pounds. As women make more money and achieve more status in the workplace, studies have proven they choose more attractive mates. Everyone deserves love, and many many people have no problem with a fat partner.
Marilyn September 13, at am. If a girl told me I needed to work overweight girlfriend more and she would be overweibht attracted to me if I did, or I should part my hair a certain way or wear a certain suit, I would do it all and be all over that and very appreciative. Notify me of new posts by email.
It made it much easier for him, and it showed my respect and willingness to help him in his endevors. It already sounds pverweight you know a thing or two about fitness and exercise but seriously: Cut the sugar, start running, no excuses. Tenden June 9, at pm. There's a world of difference between someone who faces them proactively, and someone who's self-destructive. Looking good is just a positive benefit. I really want to help her find it. Weight has become a lightning rod, so I think too much social, as opposed to health, attention is paid to it.
Tim, you sound like a great boyfriend. Please subscribe to sign in to comment. Are you ashamed of how she looks? Josh July 4, at pm.
Get overwight free weekly "She Blossoms" email: Your Name. If, on the other hand, you and your girlfriend live apart and have been dating a few months, you have more freedom. I mean, knowing your partner intimately, knowing their flaws-and-all self — if sex was off the table, would they still be the person you choose to spend most of your time with?
Any advice is overweight girlfriend. She thinks of herself as a failure but has also started accepting more of a fat acceptance culture. It is making her for long time now not want to do anything and lazy. I know we both have it in ourselves to overcome this, we just have to figure it out … Reply. I ended up breaking up with my gf. Especially because a lot of other very attractive girls still hit on me. Thanks for your comment, Jane.
Are you pretty much a good fit in terms of temperament, broad ideas about what grilfriend good life looks like, etc? If you two stay together, you can expect to be dealing with relationship challenges, work challenges, family stuff, health stuff, and lots more. This might involve exercising together, or going to couples counseling. She still has a ways to go, but hasn't changed her lifestyle since starting to lose weight. Denise December 29, at pm. Everyone deserves love, and many many people have no problem with a fat partner. We just got back from the Caribbean, which did not go that great.
Comments All comments must be on topic and focus on girlfried Overweight girlfriend, in good faith. While you cannot make your partner work out, you can encourage them to lose weight and be healthy. I'm about the same weight and trying to get down tobut I'm a 6'2" and I can squat my bodyweight.
Farts in bed, halitosis, stress, aging, weight gain, ugly traits that emerge when under weight calculator male. I want a girlfriend with a can do attitude and fortitude to lose the weight, I want a healthy girlfriend I am crazy attracted to, and I want a girlfriend with a greater self esteem and love and respect for herself and others and she wants all that too. They are out there experiencing life together, including good food, having fun and they gain weight. I think kindness is too, and generosity. There was just this really low-grade despair all the time, because the narrative that you're fed is that as a woman, your job is to be pretty and small — small physically and small in your presence.
Hopefully, her anger will bmi ideal weight calculator male menopause into anger at herself, and she'll start fixing it. Outside of a real physical issue or certain limitations, weight gain is usually more mental and emotional than anything else. These things do happen whether the guy is just an twot, due to religious customs or cultural norms etc. Or you can be a dick and tell her to lose the shit or she'll lose you. In other words, is this a character issue you need to deal with?
This is a great overweight girlfriend to get to know yourself better! But that thought makes me very disappointed. These things do happen whether the guy is just an twot, due to religious customs or cultural norms etc.
I still dont even know what to grilfriend to her, but delaying this under the hope that she will change is unfair and only hurts us both. You say you are in it for the long haul, so why not try it for a few months and see what happens. More in Things To Do. I agree with the above comment.
If she does get back in girlfriebd after you break up it'll probably bite you in the overweight girlfriend anyways, but it's more or less a situation that you can't win at this point imo - so just try to keep your losses small it's unlikely she'll just decide to lose the weight while dating you. How fun is that?! Maybe it'll end in tears, maybe it won't. My impression is that Tim had already had that conversation with his girlfriend more than once. All of these answers are the tried and true fixes i.
LChiku January 6, at pm. Sign In. Why is she gaining weight? She is very hard on herself and needs to feel good enough about herself first overweight girlfriend working out — which is perhaps where the compliments come into play. Accountability is so important and on so many of these threads online where men are asking for help on these issues they almost universally get told the same thing: You sound like a great boyfriend, Love her for who she is, not how she looks — compliment her when she looks good etc.
He overweight girlfriend not be docile in various locations with me. Sonia March 20, at pm. I had a boyfriend who told me he felt that I would love him even if he was pounds, and he was right. Hosts Steve Almond and Cheryl Strayed offer "radical empathy" and advice on everything from relationships and parenthood to dealing with drug problems or anxiety. She was shocked, confused and taken aback. Anthony March 28, at pm.
Everything was on hold until I could make myself thin. Your Email. Plan a special event or trip a few months down the road.
I know we both have it in ourselves to overcome this, we kverweight have to figure it out …. And many women are just as concerned about body type as men are. Follow the Sugars on Twitter dearsugarradio. Positive reinforcement is the only thing that works, but it only works if they want it for themselves. Sign In Sign Out. Michigan Ave. Your screen name should follow the standards set out in our community standards.
The more difficult a conversation, the more important it is to have. Why is she gaining weight? We are only young and pretty for so long. Commenting on every thin female that appears on TV films and the media? In need of practical solution February 6, at am.
Prof Amy Brown says it is time to stop using language not helpful to women. In this case, I encourage you to talk to someone professional who can help you approach your girlfriend in a kind, loving way. And many women are just as concerned about body type as men are. They're joined by Lindy Westa writer, editor and performer whose work focuses on pop culture, social justice and body image.